Conquer your lack of will power and stop giving up on yourself

The 5 coins technique

Whether it’s weight loss, smoking, or doing a project, you can use this technique to improve your will power.  Will power is very finite.  We can only say “no” a certain number of times before we break.  The good news is you can build will power like a muscle.  This is a training guide to strengthen your will power to do what ever you set your mind to.   

Go grab five coins.  You’ll use them later. 

Giving up or giving in is a bad habit just like any other.  It’s a tough habit, but the great news is you can break it.  Giving up often has a distinct pattern.  It usually goes in the order of negative thoughts and nothing mattering, then the lack of motivation, and finally abandoning the goal.  Picking up a goal after you’ve quit is hard and re-motivating yourself is extremely difficult. The key is to kill the bad habit in the first stage where it’s weakest. 

Most people want to stop the thoughts from ever occurring.  They feel that if they never had the thoughts in the first place, life would be better.  That’s true but the problem is you can’t stop them from coming in.  There’s nothing you can do about a random thought because you don’t control your brain. 

There’s a common belief that we are in complete control of ourselves.  However, we’ve all had projects we never finished or things we couldn’t quit.  We’re in control of some areas but not in most.  The brain is a complex organ with many different areas. Think of your conscious mind as the boss of the company.  It’s in command but not in complete control. 

Just like you don’t consciously manage everything in your body, (such as your liver, heart, or kidneys) the conscious mind doesn’t have direct control over most of the brain.  The CEO of a corporation doesn’t know what the factory workers are doing at every moment.  The conscious mind is the boss or commander of the brain, but isn’t in control of each individual area.   

In order to gain more control of your brain, you need to train it.  This is where you need the 5 coins.  The 5 coins represent the number of times you allow yourself to be frustrated but stop yourself from caving in.  You’re on a diet and every time you feel the need to snack, grab a coin from one pocket and place it into another.  If you have a problem focusing and feel like slacking by checking your Facebook or Twitter, put a coin in your pocket.  Maybe you give up on things too easily and you start thinking, “What’s the point of this?” put a coin your pocket.  If you get a particularly strong feeling of what ever you’re trying to stop, you put two coins in your pocket.  It’s basically a counter for your feelings.  You validate the feelings you’re having and understand that you’re frustrated, but you save them for later. 

If you reach all five coins, take a break.  Now it’s time to reevaluate why you’re feeling that way.  Are you under stress?  Are you tired?  Is there too much pressure?  Most of the time, it’s none of these.  You just need to get away from what you’re doing for a few moments.  If you’re trying to quit smoking or diet, have an activity ready that engages you.  It could be a video game or a drive to the store, just anything to take your mind off things. 

Once the frustrated feelings clear, put the coins back into the original pocket and start over again.  It’s not the thoughts that are important but the actions.  Eventually the negative thoughts or cravings will pass.  As they say on the internet, don’t feed the troll.    

What I realized when using the 5 coins was the feeling of giving in is completely temporary.  It comes and goes.  The feelings are not as real or intense as they felt in the moment.  The real goal of using the 5 coins is to take back your hijacked decision making and build your will power muscles.  You want to rationally decide things instead caving in to your feelings.  The 5 coins are a reminder that you have a choice. 

Take back control of your brain like a boss.