Lessons from a Hollywood Club Owner

I was talking to a close friend of mine who owns a successful club in Hollywood.  He’s decided to open up a new restaurant, and in the past year he’s run into a million obstacles with the government.  Everyday it’s a permit for this, it’s an inspection for that, that’ll take 6 months, this isn’t up to code, that isn’t up to spec, and so on and so on.  The headaches basically won’t stop for another year.  So I asked how he stays motivated. 

To know you're so far from the goal is really discouraging.  If it was me, I’d been depressed and given up a long time ago.  So when I asked him about how he keeps going, his reply was simple.  He told me he has no choice.  It has to be done.  No one else is going to do it.  I was hoping for something more insightful. That wasn’t the life changing wisdom I was looking for.  However when I thought about it, what’s behind the statement is very profound. 

I’ve known him for a long time and there are two aspects of his personality that make his statement deep.  First, he really doesn’t over-think anything.  Yesterday’s problems are forgotten and he only cares about what needs to be done today.  He learns the lessons but doesn’t carry the pain.  No one cares about how hard it was to get to where you are.  Succeeding is about where you are now and where you’re going.   

The other thing about him is he’s very proud of his work ethic.  What he’s created was a Positive Spiral.  Since he’s proud of his work ethic, he works harder.  The harder he works, the more proud he is.  The prouder he is, the harder he works.  It’s feeding on itself. 

Depressed people are really good at doing the opposite and feeding the Negative Spiral.  You’re overweight, so that makes you sad, which makes you eat more.  Eating more makes you gain weight and more depressed.  We do this all the time.  You’re not in a relationship so you feel like a loser.  Since you feel like a loser, you don’t go out to meet people and so no relationship. 

You can create a Positive Spiral for yourself.  I’m copying my friend in order get more done but the Positive Spiral can be applied to other areas.  You can be proud/happy that you appreciate things in your life.  Therefore, the more you appreciate in your life, the happier you’ll be.  You can even be proud about making yourself feel better.  “I ate healthy today.  I’m proud that I’m taking care of myself.”  Start getting your own approval. 

The key is to create as many self sustaining Positive Spirals you can.  Once they're on autopilot, your happiness will be automatic.  Be happy for your happiness and you'll be happier.  Maybe my friend's statement was life changing after all.